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I do not profess to be an expert in online dating, but I remember those days when I did not dare to go out and meet women, and it was one of the things I tried and experimented around with. I noticed a couple of things that worked. So, for those guys who do not know how to meet women outside of your home, fret not. Online dating is a very viable solution.
What I am about to say here is purely based on experience; it might or might not work for you. I am still testing out some new stuff here and there, but I am pretty sure it will help anyone who wants to try online dating.
Profile.
Let’s start with the profile. First up, it has to be interesting. A “I am a regular guy who sits at home and watches TV all night” just doesn’t work. Put your personality out there, talk about your passions, give a picture of your fun and interesting life, and include a couple of things that might get a girl curious about you. Use emotionally-descriptive language.
For pictures, please please please do not have half-naked shots of yourself. No pictures that were taken by yourself, and have pictures of you doing something fun.
Emails.
Now for the emailing. How would you get a girl to respond to you? Obviously your profile is the one that makes a difference, but let’s not forget that your email plays a big part. Keep it short as well. Have a maximum of 4 to 5 lines. Let’s face it… online dating should not be taken seriously, and no one needs an essay or your life story. Talk about something you noticed in the girl’s profile. Take the effort to look at what they typed up, and show that you actually bothered.
And believe it or not, the first email is not difficult. What really matters is your second email. It will set the path for the progression of your interaction. In fact, if you get this right, almost everything flies after. What I tend to do, is to engage in banter, or tell a simple story. Just something to get the girl interested and willing to continue a conversation with you.
The most important thing here is that you want the girl to be comfortable with you. For god’s sake, do not take things seriously and suggest marriage, or even anything remotely close to the two of you being serious together. Along the way, a normal conversation should occur.
As the normal conversation goes on, I would also suggest getting the girl’s phone number ASAP. You do this because you don’t want to be stuck with emailing or IM forever. Doing so will stale out whatever intrigue she has for you, and when you finally decide to meet, she won’t even consider meeting you. If you think getting a number is too fast, aim for her IM then. Do this fast. Don’t wait for weeks before you ask. But ultimately, the reason for getting on the phone is simple:
A girl will not build rapport with you if she doesn’t trust you. She hasn’t seen you in person, she has no idea how creepy you can be. Many of her online conversations will be superficial because she will hold herself back emotionally. And since body language plays a huge part in communication, hearing your voice helps.
Phone and beyond.
Once on the phone, build familiarity. Again, the key here is to get the girl comfortable. A girl WILL NOT go out with someone she’s not comfortable with. Keep your conversations light and easy. Banter is good. Humour is excellent. From here on, once you feel that the interaction is going well, you can start arranging a date with her. In my opinion, the vibe is good when she starts contributing her own end of the conversation, and when she laughs and jokes with you. You will be able to feel it, so don’t think too much about that. Now get out there and online date.
- CY
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