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*Throughout this article, I will sprinkle links that are related to the paragraph before it.
When I first started looking for ways to improve my social life, I wanted quick fixes. I wanted to have the techniques that enabled me to walk into a room, talk to anyone, have them love me for my wit and humour, and then I’d be the life of the party. I wanted charm, and I wanted to be the most interesting guy anyone can ever know.
Unfortunately, I found out months later that things do not work that way. In order to become who I wanted to be, I have to work on not just my personality, but my beliefs and thought patterns as well. If there is anything difficult to change, it is mindset. In fact, just last year, I was so absorbed in my personal problems that I saw no way out. Everywhere I looked, I saw obstacles. It was one of the most dangerous thought patterns anyone can have.
http://www.takuin.com/2007/04/26/why-do-we-need-should/
What was good is the fact that I have a fantastic support network. The friends I have come to acknowledge as brothers force-fed me with their ideas, and frankly, if I hadn’t trusted them and was desperate enough, I wouldn’t have listened.
But I had to start somewhere, and I wasn’t sure how to begin. I looked at my problems, and decided that I had to take everything as a learning experience. It might be that that spurred on the many epiphanies I have had since, although I can’t be sure. What I know is this: I became happier just by changing the way I think. I saw lesser obstacles in my life, and my interactions with people became better. Slowly, subtle changes snowballed until my friends said that talking to me now feels very different.
http://kentonwhitman.com/blog/2007/12/14/a-week-of-my-life/
One of the first few epiphanies I had was recognising my own value as a person. I remember helping out a friend with her emotional issues, and she was so appreciative that she thanked me profusely, and even wanted to buy me dinner. That one incident allowed me to see more examples of my value, be it from past incidents or from situations that occurred since. It also helped me understand that my value is inherent, and not dependent on external validation.
At the same time, I put into action a couple of plans to change my circumstances. I decided that I had to stop focusing on the problems in my life, and start working on them instead. I seek solutions, and then it happened. I did not see every problem as a problem; I only saw them as fixable issues. Gradually, the brick-walls disappeared, and I became happier.
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-5700431505846055184
Of course, it helped that one of my mates gave me a very good piece of advice. He said that it was okay to feel upset about my then situation, but that the most important thing was to focus on my eventual goal, and understand that whatever was happening then is an essential route to success. Coincidentally, around that time, I had another epiphany that made me realise that there is no such thing as failure, only delayed success. This mindset has helped me maintained a lot of positivism since then.
I also searched for articles that might be able to help me, and stumbled upon one that talks about values in life. It was an exercise that was intended to help a person discover his/her core value, and to live his/her life in accordance to it. It helped me see my goals more clearly, and as a result, gave me more impetus to work on them.
I must mention one very important thing though. Throughout this entire time, I did not stop interacting with people. I did not cocoon myself at home and focus on my mindset. Because of my work, I was out constantly talking to people. But I knew there was that fear deep down that I was socially awkward, and that my conversations would fall into silence inevitably. Then one day, while I was talking to a friend’s friend, I had so many things to say that I actually caught myself not feeling that fear anymore. That was when I knew I had beaten past that obstacle. My confidence snowballed from there. Nowadays, when I meet people, I don’t think about what to say. Instead, my mind focuses on the situation and topics naturally come up.
So there you go. A mini-retrace of my journey into the world of self-improvement. I am still constantly improving myself, and life just keeps getting better. I hope this article has given you some tips in your quest to becoming happier. Stay positive and live life! 
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