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This post will centre on how to attract women, but of course, some of the tips mentioned can help women in their romantic lives as well. Although this topic has been quite done to death, I feel that there are some things which are overlooked constantly. As such, this post (and the next 2) will be talking about what is not attractive, the universal traits that attracts women, and the overlooked attributes that will help men.

Being unattractive.

First up! Before we go on about what is attractive, I’d like to talk about what is not attractive. If any of you have watched Hitch, at the beginning of the movie, when he was banging on the car window and asking his girlfriend “What did I do wrong? Just tell me what I did wrong!”, THAT is not attractive. It shows neediness, which girls, and generally guys, will not like.

Neediness is linked to insecurity. While all of us have a certain amount of it, our life experiences can often swing us to the extreme ends. I am sure many of us have experienced it… a girl or guy who’s so smitten by you that they will do almost anything. A guy who works part time so that he can fit his girlfriend’s schedule, a girl who refuses to let go of her current relationship – despite being unhappy – for fear of not being able to find someone better, these are just some of the examples I have seen.

These traits are subcommunicated. Insecurity can come in the form of a guy who does not permit his girlfriend to talk to other guys. Insecurity can be subtle, like being shy, when it can be an inability to express oneself for fear of rejection. It can also be an unwillingness to connect with people in order not to get hurt. I remember there was a period in time when I was not willing to deal with relationships because my very first one had hurt me so bad that I didn’t want the pain again. Needless to say, I wasted many good years where I could have learnt so much.

A lot of guys think that looks matter a lot to a girl. Unfortunately, they are seeing it from a male’s perspective. In actuality, looks don’t matter as much as they think. It is very much about personality. If a guy is boring, a girl will definitely not be attracted to him at all. No one can ever bore a girl into liking them. The first girl that I was smitten with, I called her every day. But I didn’t know what to say, so in a 10-minute conversation, there would be 8 minutes of silence and 2 minutes of talking. Before I could even get her to come out with me, I had already chased her away.

Having your buttons pushed easily is another unattractive trait which most guys do not seem to be aware of. The thing is, if you cannot handle a girl, how can you handle life? I have a friend who reminds me a lot about myself back then. A little setback, and he gets upset for weeks. He thinks that people have disappointed him too much, and he constantly thinks his life sucks. His problems today is still the same as those from 3 years back. Will someone like that be attractive to girls?

This post is I of III. The next post is on the universal traits that attract women.

This entry was posted on Saturday, March 15th, 2008 at 4:33 am and is filed under Dating. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.