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Before I start, I would like to clarify my subject header. When I say “interested in me”, it means the girl wants to find out more, and not necessarily that she is strongly attracted and wants to date me right away.

NOTE: Although I am using my male perspective instead of assuming a unisex one, many of what I will mention applies to both sexes.

Action is louder.

A girl can say many things, but I will always watch out for her actions. Why do I say that? It’s body language. It’s on the level where nobody can lie (although with female orgasms, that’s always debatable :P ). If I am tired, my eyes will show. I can fake my posture, my mannerisms, but I won’t be able to fake my eyes. There was a research that showed that a person’s pupils will dilate when they see something that captures their attention. Needless to say, that’s your first clue.

Another way is to see if a girl asks you questions pertaining to your personal life. These questions can be:

“Are you going on a date?”
“What are you doing tonight?”
“What kind of songs do you listen to?”

Watch out for the tonality in all these. If it sounds polite, it’s obviously a no-go. If it sounds like she’s trying to find out more, you’re pretty good to go (this is also assuming that she’s not trying to sell you something).

Sometimes, they make statements:

“You probably party a lot.”
“I bet you have a lot of girls chasing after you…”

More signs.

It’s a way of eliciting information from you. It also leads to her sharing more about herself. If a girl talks about her daily activities with you, and you barely know her, it’s likely she’s interested. More obvious indicators include her texting you when you didn’t, giving you a morning text, trying to find reasons to get close to you, or attempting to prolong the conversation. If she’s being all nice and sweet, it’s another indication. But, understand that there are girls who are naturally sweet to everyone.

I got to know this girl about a year ago. At first, we established quite a comfortable vibe with each other. She was easy to talk to, and it was as if we could never stop talking. Then we stopped contacting each other, partly because I got too busy. Recently, she re-initiated contact with a text message. It was unexpected. Without establishing contact on the phone, we texted each other until we met up. But I was curious, because she was really sweet with her SMSes. It didn’t make sense that she would be interested in me, considering that our rapport back then was not deep enough. So I tested her, and it turns out that it was just in her nature. In this case, you will have to watch out for the signs mentioned above.

Covert signals.

But what if a girl doesn’t show such obvious signs? You will have to look at the subtle ones then. Some of the classic advice out there includes her playing with her hair while talking to you, or her crossed leg facing your direction. There was once when I was out with a girl, and she had her bag in between us when I sat beside her. It told me that she was not ready for me to try building rapport yet. You also want to see if a girl initiates touch (not that way!), or if she is receptive to your touch. If you hold her hand, and she squeezes back, she is interested.

Besides all these, watch out for the vibe as well. Vibe is really hard to explain. It has to be felt. As a socially awkward person until my early 20s, I could only rely on my intuition to know if someone is comfortable with me. In the process, I honed my intuition unknowingly. If I had to explain it, vibe is chemistry. It’s very obvious if two people are comfortable or awkward with each other. The way they communicate is very different. Think of it as you chatting with your best friend, as opposed to trying to get to know someone unwillingly.

If you feel that you are not seeing any signs, fret not. It just means that the other party is not ready yet. It is always possible to generate interest, and it can be learnt. But that’s another story for another time. In the meantime, just enjoy observing people.

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