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My friends and I had a very interesting conversation today on connecting with people. At first, we hovered around the topic of generating more conversational content, so that people would feel more comfortable with maintaining a conversation. We started to do an exercise, with the purpose of taking hooks from a person’s sentence, and using that to generate content. It went something like this:

“I went to Michigan last year for a holiday.”

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Ever tried to read minds? I think we have all done it before. Not that there’s anything wrong with it, but reading minds can be detrimental to us. Especially for the shy.

I used to be really shy. I was the guy without any opinions, and if I had any, I wouldn’t voice them out. Even with my really close friends, it would take me time to open up, and I did it in bits and pieces.

I remember walking on the streets, thinking that everyone was looking at my every move. I was so self-conscious that I could never act naturally. Even when I was having a good time with my friends, I constantly read other people’s minds, seeing their perception of me. In their eyes, I was skinny and nerdy and awkward.

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Imagine this. You walk into a party, and you see this particular guy/girl who’s talking, and it seems that there is a circle around him/her, and everyone in that circle is listening attentively, as if enraptured by the contagious enthusiasm and life emanating from this person. You walk around the room, looking for a friend, and then find them in a group of only three people. As you join them, you realise their conversation is very simple and polite. The life here seems a lot more subdued, unlike that huge group you saw earlier. As you engage in conversation with your group, you know that the conversation is already dying down.

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