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Before I start, I would like to clarify my subject header. When I say “interested in me”, it means the girl wants to find out more, and not necessarily that she is strongly attracted and wants to date me right away.

NOTE: Although I am using my male perspective instead of assuming a unisex one, many of what I will mention applies to both sexes.

Action is louder.

A girl can say many things, but I will always watch out for her actions. Why do I say that? It’s body language. It’s on the level where nobody can lie (although with female orgasms, that’s always debatable ). If I am tired, my eyes will show. I can fake my posture, my mannerisms, but I won’t be able to fake my eyes. There was a research that showed that a person’s pupils will dilate when they see something that captures their attention. Needless to say, that’s your first clue.

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One of the things that I learned since trying to fix my social self and lifestyle is frame. In laymen’s terms, it’s the strength of your personality. People who are the life of parties have strong personalities, so strong that they can suck you into their reality. You are living their world by then, not yours. Frame is what makes someone really stand out. It is also what allows them to navigate the social scene easily. More importantly, it is the main characteristic that will allow someone to get away with almost anything.

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Warning: Don’t be evil!

I have a secret for you. This is something everyone knows about, but they don’t consciously use it. It’s part of human nature, but it is so manipulative that if you realised its power, you will understand what you can do to get what you want. But don’t tell anyone else about this…

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Many people wade through their lives without goals. In many self-improvement books, goal setting is essential if you wish to succeed in any aspect of your life. I set out to improve my social life two years ago, and never looked back. But I was kind of shooting in the dark without any goals, until I decided to sit down proper and write them out.

For anyone who’s looking to improve their social lives, ask yourself this. What do you want out of it? To get to know more people? Networking? To be better at conversation? Each goal has different paths to getting there; otherwise you won’t know how to get there.

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