Hi there! I bet you are new here. How about subscribing to my RSS feed? Thanks for visiting!

I am going to break down an interaction between a girl and me. We met online and progressed to SMS, before meeting in person. To protect her privacy, her name has been changed.

I had messaged Tiffany in one of the social networking websites. At first glance, I thought she was cute, and wanted to find out more about her. I didn’t come up with any interesting lines. Instead, I just messaged her, “Hey man. How’s it goin?”

For simplicity’s sake, I shall list out our message log, before going into my thoughts.

She: Gd…Workin now…at (Location)

I: You’re sneaking around to use the Internet, aren’t you?! Very good! I like your rebellious nature. I would so do that!

She: You sound like a Play boy! Hmmmm look like one too

I: LOL! So what do you love about play boys?

She: Fun to be with I guess…But dun ever fall in love with one…

I: Hahaha good to know that you have that sensibility! Now if I were a playboy, what do you think I would be doing next?

She: Get my MSN, contact then meet for a movie to check me out….I am a smart girl

I: I have been caught! Haha, so I shall ask for your msn then! But wait, you’re not some kinda crazy girl who bites?!?!

When she replied the second time, I knew we were already in the frame of teasing each other and taking it really casual and fun. I decided to throw it back at her, instead of trying to explain myself. What I did not expect, was her reply that I would get her MSN and contact. But since she had already laid out the path for me, I went along with it. After that, she replied with her MSN.

The MSN conversation started off very normally. We talked about what we were doing, and that led to what was going on in our current lives. She found out I was a dating coach, saw the website, and was impressed. We flirted a little, and there were some innuendos. She tried to find out if I could easily get a girl’s number, to which I didn’t give a straight answer. Based on the conversation, I found out that she was actually quite a smart girl, and there were a couple of times she was testing to see if I would take the bait and escalate too fast to sexual talk. Then, she suddenly went offline, to which she explained later that she was in a rush.

On our second chat, I decided to flirt really fast, to get the sexual tension going. I do this to imply that if anything, we’re not going to remain as friends. Of course, along the way, I pushed and pulled. Balance is very essential in push-pull dynamics. Think about this… if a girl were to be overly-interested in you, you would get bored after a while. And if she isn’t interested in you at all, then eventually, you would automatically reject her. Throughout all these, I made sure that I still kept the interaction light and fun. The serious and deeply personal get-to-know-you-better conversation is best left in person. I also complimented her only when I felt that she really deserved it, and build some commonalities (in personality) when I noticed them.

Getting to the phone…

I got her interested enough to want to hear my voice. Body language plays a big part in attracting a girl, so it is only natural for a girl to want to hear my voice or see me in person. She asked me to call her at work, to which I rejected. Instead, I asked for her handphone number. The handphone is a great tool for establishing familiarity before meeting up in person. If you were to meet a girl outside, it can be great for getting her comfortable with you before you arrange a future date. The handphone is also a tool for me to keep the flirting going. I made sure to keep the conversation short. I already knew that I could establish further contact later and in the future, so I was in no hurry to start chatting up. Later on that night, we exchanged a couple of messages as well.

Over the next couple of days, she SMSed me in the morning, and we would exchange messages before I logged onto the computer for MSN. My rapport-building was kept mainly to the wide topics, nothing deep and personal, though I did try to get an idea of how deep it can go by asking some personal questions. I did it so that I could have something to start with when we meet up in person.

During the weekend, she started expressing a wish to meet up. I originally wanted to take it slow, and meet up after a week or so. But her voicing her wish meant that I could accelerate the process. I maintained the light conversations and mentioned nothing more; I wanted to wait and gauge the situation a bit more before I decided to meet up with her.

This interaction is Part 1 of 2. Next up, we shall move on to my date with Tiffany.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, February 6th, 2008 at 3:00 am and is filed under Dating. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.